Do You Ever Feel Like Giving Up? Relationship Advice – Relationship Counseling
Have you ever felt like giving up? I know I have at times through the various different challenges I have faced in my life. During our times of struggles and even when things seem generally ok doubts can creep in. Where we may question:
“What am I doing here?”
“Why am I putting up with this?”
This can be in relation to the city we live in, our place of employment and in our relationships.
But what happens when it comes a constant or reoccurring thought?
1. It steals your peace of mind.
2. Leaves you feeling lost, confused and drained of energy
3. Destroys love, happiness and passion in a marriage.
I’ve had it where I cannot sleep before my mind racing asking me the same question on what seemed like a never ending loop!
Perhaps you can relate?
This is what Sara had on her mind, she would constantly think
“What happened to us”
“What am I doing here”
“I cannot take this any longer”
I then spoke to Ahmed her husband. He said “Nicola I have tried to talk my wife out of leaving, but she isn’t listening can you help”
I pointed out to him that…
Talking and Reassurances don’t work!
The old “I’ll change” line. Just doesn’t cut it after the second time. In fact whenever we hear it a second time we interpret it as
” you won’t change!”
or “I’ve heard this before and don’t believe you”
Even if we want to believe them it is difficult. That’s because word’s don’t save a marriage.
What is needed is a different approach…
Actions that demonstrate not only a change has happened but a commitment to lasting change. Ahmed decided to do this through joining the Save My Marriage Program 10 week online private program. Here is their story – I am sharing this to inspire you into your own actions to change your life and happiness…
Hours from Divorce, Ahmed and Sara managed to overcome their financial conflicts and become friends again in just 2 weeks.
Sara was ready to leave the marriage with her two children because she could no longer handle the constant fighting over their finances. Ahmed realized he needed to act quickly and hired me to work with him, within less than a week we reached a compromise both were happy with and then focused on putting the life, passion and love back into their relationship.
Ahmed and Sara were constantly fighting over finances, Sara couldn’t stand the way Ahmed was so controlling with money, especially when they it was unnecessary. Ahmed had a good job and they weren’t big spenders.
Sara felt that Ahmed was too controlling… “Nicola he is always complaining about me spending anything and avoids trying to spend anything. I hate it, it is not how I was raised.” Ahmed’s “tightness” annoyed and embarrassed and her respect for him had dwindled over the years. She worked too and every bit of her money went on the family, why couldn’t he appreciate this and be more giving.
Ahmed liked to keep his financial affairs under tight control. His parent’s didn’t have much money growing up and saving as much money as possible is important to him.
They had tried to talk about these differences and got nowhere. They even tried marriage counselling and it made matters worse. After each session, they left feeling more depressed, frustrated and thinking that their situation was hopeless.
The marriage counsellor they saw offered them communication and listening techniques, but more talking made them withdraw further.
So Sara gave up and decided to leave Ahmed.
Faced with the prospect of losing his family, Ahmed acknowledged that he needed to change and got in touch. First we booked an emergency private strategy session and then they joined the 10 week Save My Marriage – Private Online Program. Ahmed wanted to learn the skills to fix the marriage problems together with his wife alone.
How I Helped
During the emergency strategy session Ahmed could see for the first time how his actions were affecting Sara and the marriage. Rather than empty promises of “I’ll change” or “I’ll give you more money” we agreed on a set figure where anything left over Sara got to keep. In return Sara agreed that she would not ask for more unless an emergency, would stop being critical of Ahmed, appreciate him. As well as not withhold sex, which she had been doing for some time.
The more they gave to each other the closer they become. During the online save my marriage group program I run they learned what their top 5 relationship desires were from a list of 15. As soon and they started taking action to rebuild the respect, trust and love they started to see each other in a different light. They emailed me to say that after implementing the steps in the first 2 weeks changes were happening. As a result of daily habits that made each other feel appreciated.
“I was sceptical to even try marriage counselling again, after it failed the first time. Plus I’ve been brought up to believe that you should always keep your problems to yourself and handle them on your own. But I was not willing to let Sara and my children leave, you have to fight for what you want and be willing to change. In less than 2 weeks we had agreed a way forward and then could start the online program together and start enjoying being around each other again” Ahmed
“I never thought it was possible for Ahmed to change but Nicola’s approach was really effective, she took us away from the fighting to explore the impact it was having on our life, relationship and self esteem. Seeing Ahmed’s willingness to change and do the 10week online program with me made a huge difference. I was surprised at how quickly my respect, love and admiration for him changed. I am pleased to say the tension has gone, we no longer argue over money all the time. We now focus on spending time together and with our beautiful children – like a real family should do.” Sara
As mentioned I am sharing this story to inspire you into taking some action to change anything you are currently not happy with – whether that’s your relationship, career, city or home environment.
If you are thinking “Nicola this makes sense but what actions?” or I don’t have the energy right now and feel like giving up – what shall I do?” Book your FREE Save My Marriage Consultation www.savemymarriageprogram.com/consult to discuss further.
From my heart to yours Nicola
Contact or find out more about me at www.nicolabeer.com
P.S To find out more about the Save My Marriage Online Private Program – a step-by-step system for making and maintaining love in your marriage click here.
If you cannot wait until then and are unsure what actions to take, take advantage of myFREE Save My Marriage Consultation www.savemymarriageprogram.com/consult where we can discuss ways to help you move forward and become close again – quickly.