The Secret to Creating Change in Your Marriage

Over the past weeks,  I have touched on the difficult topic of “How to get your partner to change.” I discussed the most important rule of change – You cannot make someone change, you can only INSPIRE them by your actions.

So many people start out in the Save Your Marriage Program without their spouse. And they are always concerned that this will not work if they are alone. Very often these people will schedule a private session with me and their greatest fear is that it doesn’t make sense to be coached alone.

I am here to tell you that it ABSOLUTELY makes sense.

Here is why…

You are 50% of the marriage and with the right intent, strategies, focus you can make 80%to 90% of the difference and it is THAT difference is all it takes to save a marriage. When they will see the positive CHANGE you are making…. The positive vibe you give off from stepping into action as you leave that old stuckness and powerlessness of doing nothing behind you, this will transmit. Transmit into a positive light that will create a chain reaction that INSPIRES YOUR PARTNER to make the change too.

Claire (named changed) started the Save My Marriage Program on her own but was bitterly disappointed that her husband, Darren would not even consider joining. He felt that she wanted him to CHANGE and be someone he was not.

Claire and I had a one-on-one session and I explained the relationship of change to her. When she confronts Darren and tells him what to do – it’s a challenge. Challenge leads to confrontation, conflict or withdrawal.

You cannot challenge someone to change. YOU HAVE TO LET IT COME FROM THEM. Only when they decide to change, will the change take place and be a long term solution.

I convinced Claire to focus on making her own positive changes and to give Darren some breathing space. Claire went on to start the 10-step program and it reflected in her life. You could see how these changes made her feel good about herself and her marriage.

When the time was right I suggested that Claire invite Darren to chat with me during our weekly private office hours on a Sunday. HE AGREED. After a few minutes Darren had made the choice to continue the program with Claire. We added Darren to the program, at no extra cost, and they went on to rebuild a happier, loving marriage.

Now, I know you are wondering WHY the sudden change of heart?

Darren’s change of heart happened because he was ready to make the change himself and Claire had given him that space to do it. He also felt inspired by Claire’s example but more importantly the suggestion came from someone other than Claire.

It is a sad truth that a stranger or a chance encounter will have more influence on your spouse than you can. The important lesson here is:

  1. Give your partner the space to make their own choices.
  2. Lead by example – Be the change you wish to see.

Start today, register for my 10-week online Save Your Marriage Program. It’s a relationship-transforming program and the next one begins Monday, November 21st. All you need is an internet access and the desire to improve your situation. Oh, and you can do it with or without your spouse. I guarantee it will work and if for any reason you are not satisfied I offer a 100% money back guarantee. So you can’t really lose! That’s how confident I am the program will work for you as it has worked for hundreds of other couples.

To find out more if it could be right for you Join me live where I discuss how to stop feeling alone in your marriage, as well as ways to create more love, passion and happiness

From my heart to yours Nicola, Nicola Beer

Marriage Transformation Specialist and Founder of Save My Marriage Program

Contact or find out more about me at

I specialize in a proven 10 step program to help couples increase the love, passion and happiness in their marriage in 30 days or less…Guaranteed!

P.S If you are feeling powerless or stuck right now let’s discuss how to break free of that and bring about changes you desire. Message me and we can set a time to discuss.

PP.S Struggling in Your Marriage? Get the FREE Report – 7 Secrets to Saving Your Marriage! And learn

·        The 6 Essential Keys to Keeping a Marriage Happy

·        How to Increase Love, Happiness and Passion in your marriage in less than 2 weeks!

·        How to Motivate and Inspire Your Spouse To Change

·        How to Overcome Past Hurt, Resentment, so You can Rebuild Respect & Trust

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