What Lights You UP? IMPORTANT – How to Free Yourself From Darkness

What Lights You Up?

People all over the world celebrate holidays using light. From Diwali – where millions of Hindus, Sikhs and Jains celebrate the five-day festival of lights. To Eid al-Fitr celebrations in the Middle East, where Muslims light lanterns and candles to celebrate the light of the new moon returning and the completion of Ramadan a month-long fasting period.  Jewish around the globe light candles to observe Shabat every week and for Chanukkah 8-days of lighting the menorah. At Christmas, we light the Christingle, the Christmas tree and streets. New Year we light up the sky with fireworks.

Light symbolises so many wonderful things to all of us, including love, beauty, freedom, peace, grace, bliss and hope. As a child growing up with a depressed and aggressive mother, the lighting of the Christmas tree to me brought comfort and hope.  The lighting and excitement it radiated resembled happiness, love and togetherness for me. As my mum was always much happier and kinder during this time and dad was off, so we got to play fun games with him all day.  I loved the tree lights so much, I’d sit next to them the whole time when playing or watching TV. It used to light me up, despite sometimes difficult or dark times.

We all things to light us up. As a child I could not control my mother’s mood, I learned to be my own source of happiness and adapt as best I could. I learnt how to light myself up and escape into an inner world of daydreaming, dancing, cycling and giving thanks through worship. Those were the times I felt REALLY free, lit up and care free.

As I reached adolescence I left behind these strategies and adopted new ones… ones I thought were more “grown up” or “cool” I fell into the trap of trying to control everything and everyone to what I wanted. I started my dance with alcohol, smoking and food  (binge eating or food control) to escape, regulate and balance my moods.  Instead of lighting me up, these ways of coping ensured I stayed in darkness. I remained stuck instead of free. I was desperately in need of light. Yet scrambling in chaos for external things to make me feel better.

Perhaps you can relate?

Are you trying to save your relationship or get through a break up with patterns and strategies that keep you in the dark?
Do you keep going over the same old ground and are getting nowhere?
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired, but repeating the same behaviour?
Are you still striving for perfection in yourself or others?
Do you struggle in a battle to control life or others?
Is your happiness dependent on someone or something outside of you?

If Yes, Fear Not, You Can Change It 1 Second – All it Takes Is a Decision and in That Moment You Can Be FREE

A Decision to do something different, to change, to quit, to begin, to let go…

Thankfully, I was guided back to the very things that lit me up as a child and through this, I managed to fill my life with light, love and laughter. To have the light shine through and in me.
I’ve come full circle and returned to the same childhood patterns I was given then: dancing, worship and focusing on my dreams. Letting go of trying to control and instead of lighting me up.

Who would have thought, that what I learnt as a child but forgot… would not only come back but replace the strategies that kept me stuck. This is my journey to wholeness, how I got out of the darkness and escaped unhelpful patterns.

Yours will be different. For some it’s being in nature, swimming, running, cycling, computer games, movies.

Where am I going with this you may be wondering? What does this have to do with relationships advice, marriage problems, marriage saving? life? holidays?

Well, my point is, if you are struggling, feeling stuck, fed up, confused, or in a dark place of any kind… you probably ALREADY know what can free you. You have the answer inside,  it may not be dancing or worship but something else…

What do you love to do, learn, read about? Where do you love to be? What do you love to experience? What makes you smile, laugh and feel good? Whose company lights you up?
Seek it, Embrace it, Enjoy it.

We cannot dictate how life will happen or what others will day or do, but we can take control of lighting ourselves and life up. It is time to let the light and love expand. I’d love to hear what you do to light up your world.

With this in mind for the next 6 days, I will share 1 powerful tip each day of things you can do to increase the love and happiness in your relationships and homes. Hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy connecting with you and sending them. If you are not on my email list but would like to be, just email me at nicola@purepeacecoaching.com and I will add you.

Stay tuned for the first tip tomorrow.

From my heart to yours, Nicola

Marriage Transformation Specialist – An Alternative to Marriage Counseling That Works! Dubai and Abu Dhabi  

Contact or find out more about me at www.nicolabeer.com


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