Relationship Advice Tip 4 – LET GO Today to Have a Great Day Tomorrow
When our partner hurts us, lets us down or disappoints us very often our first reaction is to clam up. We are angry. We want them to apologize and put it right. Or we want something of revenge for them to understand what we felt. What we don’t realize is that by holding onto anger it is actually hurting us…. When I work with couples to save their marriage or those coming out of a divorce, I focus heavily on letting go of resentment. Resentment is a passion and connection killer, it is also exhausting carrying it with you.
If you find yourself feeling a really strong negative emotion towards your spouse, wait until you have calmed down before you speak to them. All too often words are said or shouted in the heat of the moment that we later look back on with regret. This is because resentment builds slowly and then with a smaller trigger can explode into rage. Be sure to find a time and place to talk quietly and settle the issue. Come up with a plan, a solution and a way to avoid it happening again. Finally, let it go. It’s the past. It’s gone. Don’t bring it up. Let it go. Forgive the other person for what they did or didn’t do and let go of any of the negative emotions you are still holding onto. People often ask why should I forgive them when what they did was unacceptable. Forgiving someone doesn’t say ‘what you did was ok’, it says I don’t want to walk around with this huge burden on my shoulders anymore so I’m dropping it. It’s a bit like saying, I care so much about feeling good today and tomorrow that I don’t want what happened today to ruin one more minute of my life so I’ve made a conscious decision to let it go – for good.
Do it now, ask yourself: Is there anything I need to let go of to have a great day tomorrow? State in your head or write down what you are willing to let go of – the gift you intend to give yourself. Then go ahead and do that. Visualise it leaving you or affirm to yourself I have let it go.
If you get stuck and have any questions on this, let me know. By the way I apologise this was a day late. My Christmas shopping took way longer than expected and I have to go back again tomorrow. I lost out due to my indecisiveness, I thought I would buy something later once I had checked more stores, only to find that when I went back they were sold out. Little extra tip, if you are leaving shopping to the last minute like me, get it when you see it. Especially today.
Merry Christmas from my heart to yours, Nicola
Contact or find out more about me at www.nicolabeer.com
P.S If your marriage is in serious trouble or you are currently going through or coming out of a separation or divorce and are dreading the holidays – get in touch with me. For the next 3 weeks until the 10th January, I will be making time in my schedule for 3 Free Consultations each week. To book directly for marriage saving visit http://savemymarriageprogram.com/consult/ for Divorce support email me on email@example.com to book and I’ll send you a link to my calendar. I will be here throughout the Holidays
PP.S Don’t forget to get your copy of my FREE Report – 7 Secrets to Saving Your Marriage! And learn
· The 6 Essential Keys to Keeping a Marriage Happy
· How to Increase Love, Happiness and Passion in your marriage in less than 2 weeks!
· How to Motivate and Inspire Your Spouse To Change
· How to Overcome Past Hurt, Resentment, so You can Rebuild Respect & Trust
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Written By Nicola Beer – Marriage and Divorce Transformation Specialist – An alternative to marriage counseling that works! Marriage Therapy in Dubai, Abu Dhabi and overseas via skype.