How to Stop Walking On Eggshells Around Your Spouse

This is for those who currently feel like they are walking on Eggshells in their relationship or if Anger has turned into Resentment or Rage.  Save My Marriage Program is an alternative approach to Marriage Counseling Online or in Dubai and Abu Dhabi 

Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, it’s perfectly healthy and normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated or wronged by someone you love, but when it becomes consistent RESENTMENT or explosive RAGE, it can have serious consequences for your relationships, your health, and your state of mind.

If you are hot tempered, you may feel like it’s out of your hands, it’s your nature and there’s little you can do about it. But you have more control over your anger than you think. Once you learn why you keep it, you can then look at different ways to address it, you can change the pattern. It usually takes both conscious and unconscious methods to relieve yourself from it over the next few weeks I will cover this topic. Protecting your marriage from resentment and rage is highly important, but like anger management, it only works if you are willing to understand your rage or resentment and take steps to change it. Some argue venting anger is justified or believe that others are “too sensitive”. Others feel they cannot help holding on to resentment it is the fault of their partner. Unless you take responsibility for the rage or resentment in your marriage, you cannot free yourself from the destructive pattern.
ill be heard.

When Anger becomes Resentment or Rage it  

Destroy respects.
Cause lasting scars.
Destroy trusts
Decreases love
Breaks closeness
Is damaging to children.

If snapping, moodiness or angry outbursts become frequent it can cause that “walking on egg shells” feeling. Where both in the couple are fearful about being honest or communicating, in fear for setting their partner off.

If you feel like you are “walking on egg shells” at the moment it is important to take action straight away. If you cannot be yourself in a relationship, you are not really having a real relationship anymore. There are several things you need to do:
Tips on Saving Your Marriage / Stop Divorce
1. Set up a safe sharing zone together, if your arguments or talking are not getting you anywhere consider getting the help of a marriage counsellor or therapist that is future orientated not fixated on rehashing the past.

2. Focus on actions you can take to increase love, connection and friendship

3. Practice emotional acceptance, aim and agree that you accept each other’s feelings without judgment.

4. Take the steps I am going to be sharing with you this month. The steps to follow will help prevent anger from ruining your relationship. Be sure to follow me on social media to not miss any.

(Disclaimer: If you are living in an abusive relationship, you need more help than reading this.Please get professional help immediately. Anger isn’t the real problem in abusive relationships. Therefore anger management in Dubai or further afield won’t support you to save your marriage and stop divorce. Anger and anger management is about dealing with the loss of control over behaviour and temper. Abuse is a deliberate attempt and choice to control someone.)

Today, let’s first explore why we continue to get angry when it damages a relationship. As these tips alone can help in saving a marriage and stop divorce:

Anger Management Tips on Saving Your Marriage from Divorce
1. To Punish, Teach a Lesson, Make things Fair

People keep anger to punish someone, either with their bad attitude or anger led actions, and in doing so they get to feel like life is fairer. The angry mindset is “they did something bad to me, they should be punished” But if you punish someone with your anger or your bad attitude you are just creating more punishment for yourself, as it doesn’t feel good to act un-lovingly or be spiteful.  Guilt often follows rage or resentful passive aggressive behaviour and guilt is a horrible feeling.
Some husbands and wives also falsely believe that by getting angry it will somehow teach their spouse a lesson. The problem with this approach is that it doesn’t work either.  Getting angry is not going to change anyone’s behaviour, in fact, they may do the opposite to what you want in retaliation. As no one likes to be told what to do, especially by your partner.
Instead, listen, be open and compassionate when you address a concern or grievance. You will have a far greater chance of influencing and inspiring them to change.

2, Anger to Get What You Own Way

Another reason we get angry in relationships is because of the FALSE belief that if we get angry we will get what we want.  The mindset is
“If I get angry, they will do what I want” or
“If I scare them they will back down”
This is using anger as a form of manipulation,  which will never work for a loving marriage.
We tend to learn this from childhood, where we experience a parent, teacher or other elder get angry at us until we behave how they want. This is a disaster for marriage, as true power doesn’t come from bullying. To gain respect and your desires met, appreciation, attention and admiration towards your spouse work best.

3 To Avoid Blame, Fault and Deflect

Some use rage or resentment to divert blame and deflect away from oneself. Instead of looking at the issue being raised or accepting fault, they attack. This is often to avoid looking inward and taking responsibility. This crushes a marriage as no one gets heard and if no responsibility is taken no change can take place.

In the next article, I will share with you more about overcoming rage and resentment

From my heart to yours, Nicola

Founder of the Save My Marriage Program – an alternative to marriage counselling in Dubai, Abu Dhabi and Internationally Online Using Skype or Zoom

Contact or find out more about me at www.nicolabeer.com

 

P.S For more free resources on dealing with anger, I have several episodes on anger management in my podcast shows just type in “Nicola Beer” in Itunes, Stitcher or Soundcloud and you will find a host of audio seminars on resentment, silent treatment and anger management.

PP.S Get your copy of my FREE Report – 7 Secrets to Saving Your Marriage! And learn

  • The 6 Essential Keys to Keeping a Marriage Happy
  • How to Increase Love, Happiness and Passion in your marriage in less than 2 weeks!
  • How to Motivate and Inspire Your Spouse To Change
  • How to Overcome Past Hurt, Resentment, so You can Rebuild Respect & Trust

Get the 7 Secrets Now – https://training.nicolabeer.com/7-secrets-marriage

Written By Nicola Beer – Marriage and Divorce Transformation Specialist – An alternative to marriage counseling that works! Marriage Therapy in Dubai, Abu Dhabi and overseas via skype

OR if you are in need of immediate help, contact me now for a free save my marriage and stop divorce support consultation.